nterview with Vlarzok, the Talking Market Fox of Solenca: Between Scent Trails and Culinary Fiascos
Vlarzok, Solenca’s elusive market fox, navigates a life of scent trails, jealousy, and culinary peril between the floating terraces and fiery festivals of the Aurorian Mosaic Archipelago’s most chaotic planet. In a rare and awkward interview, he shares his take on competition, family woes, and the risk of being turned into the latest regional delicacy.
Kelvin Phaëthos So, Vlarzok, can you explain exactly what your role is on this ever-bustling marketplace planet?
Vlarzok Uh, well, I’m... officially called the 'resident chef', but honestly, I’m just sniffing around. I guide visitors to forgotten herbs beneath the displays, sometimes steal a nibble when no one's watching.
Kelvin Phaëthos Have you ever regretted moving to Solenca?
Vlarzok *looks around nervously* Absolutely. But you’re not supposed to say that here. If the Cheese Barons catch wind of fox complaints, you’re reclassified as a public pet.
Kelvin Phaëthos What’s the most dangerous thing you've ever experienced in these market halls?
Vlarzok The Plasmatic Mushroom Competition, hands down. Everyone says they're deliriously tasty, but I could only walk in circles for days. Oh, and I accidentally lost my tail to a morph-tower chef.
Kelvin Phaëthos About that tail... was that, uh, a professional mistake?
Vlarzok Ugh! Professional mistake... I swear, those morph-tower chefs are just jealous. They pressure you until you lose focus and-poof-tail’s gone, sauce poured over it, 'artistic dish'.
Kelvin Phaëthos How do you manage the constant competition and chaos here?
Vlarzok I don’t, really. You adapt or get bought, you know? That’s why every morning, I triple-sniff my way past the stalls to check I’m not already on today’s menu.
Kelvin Phaëthos You sound rather... restless. Don’t you have a favorite spot to hide away on Solenca?
Vlarzok Pff, no. Every quiet corner here turns into a fusion pastry buffet or gets taken over by a club of aromatic vapor clouds within a day. So no, privacy’s as rare here as a Goldtaste grain.
Kelvin Phaëthos Is it true you sometimes work as a guide for interplanetary tourists?
Vlarzok Work, yeah... See, I lead them. But actually, I just distract them for a fee so their snacks stay safe. Honesty lasts longest-unless fox interests are at play.
Kelvin Phaëthos What does your family think of you settling here?
Vlarzok Family... Ha, one works at a liquid snail bank in the Nebula Belt. The other writes dramatic scent columns about my 'moral decline’. They never visit-too high a risk of being caramelized.
Kelvin Phaëthos And how are your relations with other market fauna?
Vlarzok Eh... not great. The dancing lobsters hate me since the garlic bath incidents. The luminescent mouse chef always steps on my paws. Basically, it’s a lantern-lit jungle.
Kelvin Phaëthos You sound irritated. May I ask, are you actually happy here?
Vlarzok Happiness... that doesn't smell edible to me. But yeah, sometimes-when the sun makes shadows skip across the market floors-sometimes, just for a moment, I forget the noise.
Kelvin Phaëthos What’s the weirdest dish you've ever been made into-without your consent?
Vlarzok *hisses through teeth* Glazed fox snout in caramel mist, served with fried whiskers tossed on top. No further comment.
Kelvin Phaëthos Anything you’d like to change about life on Solenca?
Vlarzok Uh, yes. Start by making local fauna less edible, please. Not going to happen though-they’ll just laugh in a basil cap.
Kelvin Phaëthos Finally, if you could send one message to Solenca’s inhabitants?
Vlarzok Stay sharp, keep running, and if you see a fox with sauce-head for the next holographic bridge. Simple.