The Cosmic Chronicle

Travelers passing through The Iridotic Synclinate of Vloeivel inevitably contend with fogged optics, internal condensation, or, as I did recently, the ostentatious demonstration of the latest Polyphase FogExtractor. The manufacturer promises purification of every mist variant, from tingly dew vapors to the notoriously corrosive azural haze, all condensed into a device the size of an overgrown crystal bloom.

Practice, unfortunately, is wetter and far less impressive. During a border standoff near the Smaragdbastion of the Dew Heralds, I activated the Extractor: it growled, pulsed, and mostly produced noise, while local humidity surged by fifty percent. After precisely twelve seconds, the device suffocated under its own stream of self-generated fog, erupting into a squelchy blast of half-coalesced dew nanites. The village elders-both gaseous and fluid-literally dripped away, not from excitement, but from acute condensation. My precious crystal samples rapidly lost all shine, glazed over in an instant.

Mist authorities may have approved this device by official patent, but frankly, that is scandalous. More importantly, no enclave resident appreciated the sudden uptick of visible vapor between the dome villages, except perhaps the mechanical watchposts of the Echelons, who stoically adopted new shades of programmed ennui. Anyone aiming to extract mist from the Iridotic Synclinate had best request formal permission-or simply wear proper rain gear.