eclaration of Fictionality and Cosmic Disclaimer
Before you wander further through our chronicles of quasar-quatsch and time loops, a word of caution: not everything you encounter here is what it seems.
The Cosmic Chronicle is a satirical-philosophical newspaper from a parallel universe. Everything presented here – from intergalactic wars to telepathic love letters – is entirely fictitious, distorted, or drawn directly from a cosmic dream.
No article should be understood as a factual report of events in your world. Names, places, events, and entities may sometimes resemble those you recognize, but they are always transformed into part of the universe of the Cosmic Chronicle. Any resemblance to real persons, organizations, or situations is coincidental, possibly the result of a glitch in the Great Fabric.
We accept no liability whatsoever for any damage, direct or indirect, arising from taking our stories literally, following interdimensional recipes, opening time portals without a license, or any other use of this publication. The same applies to allergies to stardust glitter, quantum hangovers after flux consumption, and unexpected multiplication caused by responding to extraterrestrial personal ads.