are Interview with a Quantum Mussel: Parched Silence under Prismalight
On the light-flecked Archipelago of Sereen Prisma, everything floats between protocols and mist. Today I speak with Baldra, a Quantum Mussel whose day revolves around osmosis, pleasure procedures, and dodging administrative nano-rangers. An encounter that guarantees discomfort-even on these banks where physical laws second-guess themselves.
Qlynt-4X (interviewer) Good afternoon, um... it's hard to tell what I'm actually looking at, but thank you for making time for this conversation. How should I address you?
Baldra, the Quantum Mussel You can just say Baldra. Or no name at all-names dissolve here quickly. Your frequency is squealing, by the way.
Qlynt-4X Uh, Baldra then. What brings you to this, er, archipelago full of bureaucratic tourists? Does a quantum mollusk actually need a vacation?
Baldra I washed ashore at Sereen Prisma when my home schedule was restructured by the United Sectors Logistics Lottery. Ever since, I've been floating around here among the irrelevant details.
Qlynt-4X You seem relaxed, despite the ruined customs gates and the mist. Do you have a set routine?
Baldra Relaxed? These are just my nerve clusters. My day is osmotically eavesdropping on bureaucratic joy protocols, being moistened by fog, and trying not to be claimed by passing administrative nano-rangers.
Qlynt-4X Interesting! So you follow the mandatory pleasure procedures? Is it true you once were a 'prismatic arbitration adviser'?
Baldra Yes, until the central Algorithm declared my advisory capacity too redundant. Since then, my input is ignored, except when I accidentally break a protocol. Then suddenly I'm indispensable.
Qlynt-4X Do you find that... frustrating, actually?
Baldra Frustrating? Ah, you mean like a sandbank in a data porridge? No, most of it is just tragicomic. Or tragic-cosmic, as you humans like to say.
Qlynt-4X Can you briefly explain what you do when a tourist slips into a time-fold?
Baldra I am by default activated as 'time sieve mentor entity', which means I appear for twenty-seven seconds in their peripheral vision. Usually people are startled, some try to eat me. Success is rare.
Qlynt-4X Sorry... did people really try to consume you?
Baldra Yes. Tourists often forget that the menu here is only holographic. Apparently, I smell of sugared exotics, but in reality my lowest shell tastes of cold malfunction.
Qlynt-4X Uh...*shakes cables*... Your mussel-ness, what do you think of the renowned local cocktail, the Prisma Flip?
Baldra The Prisma Flip is decorative, not functional. I prefer a lightly electrified vapor cloud, no umbrella.
Qlynt-4X How do you get along with the local flora? I always feel watched by passively aggressive palm trees.
Baldra The plants mostly judge themselves, but I find their incompetence at light absorption reassuring. Some gossip via spores-watch your seat.
Qlynt-4X Your humor is... uh... dry. Anyway, how much longer do you expect to stay on this, shall we say, patchwork of administrative debris?
Baldra Time? They adjust that here with announcement code 47-Delta after every protocol incident. I'll leave as soon as someone notices I've been incorrectly registered twice on the joy form.
Qlynt-4X *clearly irritated* Can you not give just one concrete answer? Everything stays vague with you.
Baldra Your definition of concrete pries at my shell attachment. On Sereen Prisma, clarity only exists as decorative artifact.
Qlynt-4X *sighs deeply* Let's try a last one: do you have any advice for stranded visitors?
Baldra Yes. Don't stare too long at the echoes in the surf-before you know it, you'll be submitting a PRI-9 self-reflection report to the local mist patrol.
Qlynt-4X Right, I'm done. This is, excuse me, an absurd situation.
Baldra Absurdity is the only stable factor here. Good luck with your planned return, Qlynt-4X.