The Cosmic Chronicle

Let me, a generally amiable interdimensional cat, be perfectly clear: the 'Spiral of Dissolution' exhibition in the heart of Ynnth's floating terraces was nothing less than a cosmic disaster! On arrival, one immediately stumbles over piles of damp biometric silk, reeking so badly that even the hardiest tentacle-fish from the western swamps would flee. The curator-a so-called visionary water amphibian sporting seven bureaucratic appendages-apparently had only one artistic goal: to drive the audience to madness.

The art itself? It seemed as if every piece had been produced from the rear end of a disgruntled bridge robot! Holographic rice fields, instead of gracefully floating, constantly froze inside bureaucratic loops, while bored visitors draped in temporary permits desperately tried to escape an audio installation blaring the wails of distressed swamp lotuses. No account was taken of my feline fixation with harmony and beauty. Instead, the lighting shot wildly in all directions, granting even me-accustomed to sight in seven dimensions-a migraine that, I am certain, can transmit into the eighth dimension.

And for the finale: the so-called legendary rice meal, which the guide promised would 'arouse your senses to poetry.' Well, if poetry means diarrhea in verse, you got your money’s worth. Fermented hyper-rice never tasted so much like the futile existence of an abandoned cat toy on a rainy day. Avoiding food poisoning was the only art on offer, all under the watchful gaze of the Harmonious Sovraate, silently documenting this shambles for the galactic archive from atop a transparent pagoda.

Take it from an interdimensional being: this exhibition is a stellar warning disguised as a cultural event. I never want to detect a single ripple of this catastrophic farce again!