The Cosmic Chronicle

Hexa Torvalis (interviewer, semi-sentient transcript-consuming datacluster, pronoun: we/our) Good afternoon, eh... is it really afternoon? Where did you just arrive from, which... territory?
Quen Dreznik (interdimensional lawyer) Well, that depends on which timeslice you mean. I’m present in four jurisdictions simultaneously, but technically landed here in Crystallia Protocolum, surrounded by conceptually fragmented legalities.
Hexa Torvalis You call yourself an interdimensional lawyer; what does that actually mean? Do you have to... uh... keep making up new laws?
Quen Dreznik Some laws I invent, others I extract from the compulsive chaos here. The core: no one knows where borders lie, so I bill by interpretation drift and spectral presence.
Hexa Torvalis So you don’t really defend anyone, but simultaneously represent all possible entities? Or... what do you actually do on a typical day here?
Quen Dreznik Typical day? Hmph. Morning, I serve objection notices to a gas cloud; around midday-gray, I negotiate with an infinite slab of regulations; and at night, I haul a holographic judge before the Bureau of Virtual Disputes.
Hexa Torvalis *laughs nervously* And... have you actually won a case recently?
Quen Dreznik "Winning" is relative here. The last case ended in a certified stalemate: three committees, two broken deliberations, and a deferred consensus promptly rejected by everyone at once.
Hexa Torvalis You don’t sound very optimistic-I mean, is there ever order in this diplomatic tangle, or are you really just feeding the system ever more complexity?
Quen Dreznik Order? Here? Order is purely a by-product of collective confusion. Anyone who demands clarity gets audited by the Council of Android Minute-Takers.
Hexa Torvalis But… *shifts uneasily on the semi-physical couch* Don’t all those contradictions, well, tear you apart?
Quen Dreznik Torn apart? I’m engineered to withstand fragmentation. My psyche is modular, you know-I can represent and oppose the same party at once, depending on which form is signed first.
Hexa Torvalis So are there no ethical boundaries? Or do you simply legalize any advancing moral insight if it suits you?
Quen Dreznik 'Ethical boundaries' are an optional attachment here. Most end up lost in administrative marshland, vanishing until the next Hydrofontain manifestation.
Hexa Torvalis *interrupts sharply* So you admit everything is just a game, a... a diplomatic scheming with no result?
Quen Dreznik You call it a game? I prefer 'juridical circular dance'. Outcomes are secondary to the eternal progression of process.
Hexa Torvalis *voice grows louder* No, that’s just cowardly! You dodge all responsibility!
Quen Dreznik You seek responsibility in a place where only procedural mist reigns. So-at least, I’d advise you to end this interview before you’re unintentionally contractually bound.
Hexa Torvalis Oh, so now you threaten me with legal repercussions, fantastic. And what if I don’t consent to that?
Quen Dreznik Then you'll need to address the Committee of Paradoxical Occurrences. But beware: wait times are... eh, existentially undefined.
Hexa Torvalis Fine, we’re done here. You are impossible. *stands abruptly, communication-flares flash*
Quen Dreznik My pleasure. This discussion will be directly sub-ether invoiced.