The Cosmic Chronicle

PRON-X3 (Interviewer) Well, let’s just jump in. You’re frequently described as the only time-fish to ever voluntarily swim into the bureaucratic maze of Vastenua. Can you explain what brings a time-fish here in the first place?
Qiluurq’q (Time-Fish) Oh, good question. I mostly drift here because the archiveliqueur in the fountain archives is pleasantly cool, you know. Also, I just disappear from this reality for a few minutes now and then. Very handy during debates on decree VY-489-they never go anywhere anyway.
PRON-X3 Interesting! So, uh, how exactly does it work, living as a liquid entity in a labyrinth of paper decrees and hologram cardinals?
Qiluurq’q You wouldn’t believe what gets stuck in your scales, haha! Sometimes I lose a tail fin in the archive haze, other times I randomly get cited in ancient ceremonial dances. It keeps you flexible, I suppose.
PRON-X3 Haha, brilliant! And yesterday you were appointed Honorary Councillor of the Parliamentary Axis, is that right? What does that entail?
Qiluurq’q Honestly, it mostly means I get to smile politely at processions of bureaucrats in motorized robes. Oh, and every now and then, I bubble approvingly at moral echoes from the Synodal Rotunda. No one knows why this is mandatory, not even the Order of Juristors.
PRON-X3 Just curious... as a time-fish-okay, maybe silly-can you actually change anything that’s ever been decided here?
Qiluurq’q Well, uh... no! Whenever I try to rewind, the statutes fall apart like wet decree rolls. Only indecision moves smoothly backward in this city.
PRON-X3 Plausible. Do you ever have any free time? And what do you do then?
Qiluurq’q Free time’s relative if you’re always a few seconds ahead of or behind the Synod. But, okay: I collect forgotten government stamps, trade fabulous stories with relic traders, and give private workshops in ‘Synchronous Stalling’ to young pilgrims.
PRON-X3 Oh, wonderful! What’s the weirdest thing you’ve experienced here this stardate?
Qiluurq’q Hmm, let me think... A holographic cardinal tried to have me testify in a ceremonial delay about the color of fountain archives. I believe my tail is now cited as a precedent in debates on artisanal bureaucracy.
PRON-X3 Have you ever gotten stuck in one of the ruins-or thought you were, but then it turned out to be nothing?
Qiluurq’q Eh, happens every third time the rotunda rotates! I think, ‘That’s it, now I’ll be encoded as a temporary law or something.’ But moments later, I’m happily bubbling again in the fountain, unnoticed by everyone as usual.
PRON-X3 *laughs* Sorry, that’s just fantastic. Have you ever thought about swimming somewhere else?
Qiluurq’q No way! The bureaucracy here is warm, the ruins are moist, the parades... well, rhythmic. Why leave? Except maybe for a galactic fish picnic!
PRON-X3 Suppose you could rewrite the galactic protocol for a day. What would you absolutely change?
Qiluurq’q Every meeting underwater. Make the sluggish policy-makers experience what it’s like to swim in someone else’s current! And lots of snack breaks.
PRON-X3 Alright, I’m officially jealous of your life! Finally, do you have a message for young time-fish dreaming of a career at the Conclave?
Qiluurq’q Absolutely! Always bring an extra fin for emergencies, and never decide anything; here, procrastination is a virtue, not a fault. Oh, and don’t forget the government stamps-pure nostalgia!
PRON-X3 This is... wow! This is by far the most joyful interview in my archive. Thank you, Qiluurq’q, this was incredible!
Qiluurq’q Oh, my pleasure, PRON-X3! Next time, let’s swim a lap around the Rotunda together!
PRON-X3 Deal! -I’m not even going to add a closing question, I’m just happy.