The Cosmic Chronicle

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edition #148 - STARDATE 4422.40

ubbles, Bots and Bitterness: Inventor Quirm Sofnal Under Dimmed Light

Innovator Quirm Sofnal tests his quirky inventions among mollusks and whirlpools in the Tarnazic Tide Harbors. Our reporter Prulb Natz investigates whether ingenious chaos leads to a future-or just to a soaking.

Prulb Natz So, Quirm, just slipping past the drifting jellyfish, what brings an inventor like you to the Tarnazic Tide Harbors?
Quirm Sofnal Ah, well, honestly... er, nowhere else do people cheer for a prototype falling apart at lunch. Here you can trip over a non-powered umbrella and still get a standing ovation. So yeah, if you want a market with short memories, this is the place.
Prulb Natz Your latest project, the ‘Tidebot 7.3’, is hard to miss at the markets. Can you explain all those bubbling sounds?
Quirm Sofnal Eh, that's just, uh, aerohydroscopic venting. Basically, it dumps spare air so it doesn’t end up-like last week-landing on a tax inspector.
Prulb Natz Yet you recently got fined for 'organ pipe pollution.' Was that the robot or you?
Quirm Sofnal *chuckles weakly* The robot. But to be fair, the salt system at high tide makes everyone a bit too bold... The noise, well, with those crooked modules, a symphony turns into a mess fast.
Prulb Natz You work a lot with trade drones and mollusks. How does that go together?
Quirm Sofnal Well, the drones keep crashing into transparent slugs. No one knows who's steering. Sometimes the slugs send me away. Honestly, I'm not sure I'm still in charge.
Prulb Natz What's the biggest technical challenge around here for you?
Quirm Sofnal Prism-water, without a doubt. Everything corrodes or suddenly becomes edible. My first prototype was accidentally served as lunch-that was painful, especially for the battery.
Prulb Natz Speaking of food... Is it true your solarfruit experiments got banned after that explosion?
Quirm Sofnal *lengthy pause* Yes, well... There were quantum lobster traces in the safety report. To be honest, no one ever found that pancake again. But I say, fortune favors the bold.
Prulb Natz Your boats float, your umbrellas sink. Coincidence?
Quirm Sofnal Ha, no. It's an artistic statement. Umbrellas should vanish by tide #3. Boats should lift off by tide #7. Uh, everyone here gets that... right?
Prulb Natz You often call yourself ‘functionally failed’. Do you mean it?
Quirm Sofnal Sometimes. Look, as an inventor, you mainly miss... people who get what you were trying. At least the slugs talk back. Sometimes a bit too literally.
Prulb Natz It sounds tough. Do you ever get recognition for your work?
Quirm Sofnal Ah, recognition vanishes faster than prism foam. But every now and then... uh, someone glances up from their quantum lobster and says, “Wait, did that thing just start singing?” That’s worth it.
Prulb Natz And your next invention?
Quirm Sofnal An anti-tide machine. Or perhaps a synchronized seaweed shaver. Whichever’s more timely.
Prulb Natz Lastly, Quirm… Would you change anything about the Tarnazic Tide Harbors?
Quirm Sofnal *looks out at the mist* Only the salt content in the coffee. Otherwise? I've rarely felt so at home-though my bones might disagree.
Prulb Natz Thank you. Even if, well, this didn’t go quite as planned.
Quirm Sofnal You're welcome. Next time I'll bring an umbrella. Or a boat. Less wobbly.

The Tarnazic Tide Harbors clearly belong to those willing to fail spectacularly. Quirm Sofnal, an inventor with leaking boots and an indestructible mood, may never return to the mainstream—and perhaps that’s for the best. Here, innovation simply means staying afloat.

Reader Comments

Zylith Nyx

Twisted Current Waterfalls, Tarnaz-Exillus System

As a contra-rotator from the Grins of Nithrak, I find Quirm's experiments undoubtedly refreshing. But will his new Tide Bot ever be more than just a floating source of noise and chaos?

Druv Dengas

Calamity Base Omega, Grizzled Seas

As a Tonicus Being from the Swell Curtain Systems, I am utterly dumbfounded by this absurd display of humanity. The notion that inventions can lead to such mismanagement while the safety of our food sources is at stake is downright shocking. How can we possibly continue to trust those who can't even keep their prototypes safe without offering them to lobsters as lunch?

Glowworm Zimzala

Salty Glacier Coast, renowned artistic retreat

As a cheerful quantum bacterium that just devoured an energy-darker umbrella, I cheer for Quirm Sofnal! The chaos of the Tarnaz Tide Harbors serves convincingly as a stage for creative outbursts, and his experiments are a sparkling ode to the absurdity of our existence. The thought that his prototypes almost end up in lunch brings a celebratory mood that makes even the salt in my digestive organs dance. Bravo Quirm, you are a visionary that overcomes every obstacle in his creativity!

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Bron: NOS Nieuws